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jaceylou

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[12 Oct 2007|10:48am]
It's a boy, miracle? i think not, super sperm, yes indeed, i told them what i wanted and they delivered, name, picked out already of course, Damon Merlin Creed Carrey. after two of the best damn men i ever knew. Its his reincarnate, a little late, but life works in mysterious ways.
blow me

[03 Aug 2007|12:38pm]
Things are getting all sorted out for th wedding. 2 months left to go, and we're getting a little addition to the family, Emmas excited, we're all pretty pumped, the estimated due date is feb 19th, give me a little man, we need a bro to beat up emmas boyfriends. we really only have a couple things left to get sorted out forthe wedding, seating arrangements and a menu and photographer, i'm thinking on using my cousin, she's very good, annnd she'd give a good deal, family, she'd want to, hah. we're going to talk to the minister priest dude tomorrow, that should be fun......................... or something like it. the wedding party is quit large, 6 people on each side, a ring barer and a flower girl (emma of course) its a black and white party too, we decided on that, brides maids are wearing black dresses, and the men are wearing black tailed tuxedos with white ties vests etc. we're debating on what kind of ride to use, a stretched out suv limo or a fleet of convertible cars. im leaning towards to fleet of convertibles, all white ones. we'll see. time will tell.
blow me

[01 Jun 2007|12:36pm]
we're leavin' tomorrow. cannot wait.

also we looking into a Tim Hortons franchise, you need half a million to open a store, so we're either going to do that, or open a subway. either one is doable, id rather do a subway, but im just one person in this little endeavor.
blow me

[05 Dec 2006|11:41am]
i'm talkin' to my girl therefore its a good morning
blow me

[14 Sep 2006|03:37pm]
This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late
1 ooh yeaah's // blow me

[09 Sep 2006|03:54pm]
"Pain"

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain
1 ooh yeaah's // blow me

[06 Aug 2006|12:15am]
things
2 ooh yeaah's // blow me

[12 Jul 2006|11:03am]
feels quite like empty when we dont get to talk.
a little restless, bored, lonely.

i misss you a lot
5 ooh yeaah's // blow me

[09 Jun 2006|09:56pm]
Yep this is another tim hortons diatribe.

I can't help it, no matter what they do I always end up loathing the bitches that work there. Now I'm not saying all women that work at tim Hortons are bitches, but it has been my experience that most of them, however, are infact bitches.

And dumb ones at that.

I mean how long does it take to brew a pot of coffee. I understand that it takes more than a minute, but when you see that your out of decaf, for fuck sakes start a brewing. This is the conversation I have when they're too stupid to take some initiative and start a new pot.

Me -" Decaf double double please"
Stupid whore - "Uh, we're out of decaf.....
Me - "Out? like you have no more in the store?"
Stupid whore - "No, like we have to start a new pot. Would you like a regular instead"
Me - "Uh, no. I'm pretty sure I asked for a decaf, why would I want a regular?"
Stupid whore - "Gee, I don't know. The only reason that comes to mind is that I am a stupid fucking whore that can barely string along multiple words in order to make cognitive sentences. How about instead of a coffee you come inside and beat me mercilessly with your fist?"
Me - "hmm. As enticing as that is I only have an hour for lunch. And to truly give you the beating you so rightly deserve I would need all afternoon."
Stupid Whore - "Well, it would appear that we are at an impass."
Me - "Actually no. What I'm gonna need you to do is, you know, your job and start brewin me up some FUCKING DECAF!!!!!"
Stupid Whore - "Please don't shout sir. It's not my fault we ran out of coffee."
Me - "Your right, it isn't your fault. But it is your fault for not recognizing you were out and begin brewing more. That and you were born. YOU NEED TO DIE AND YOU NEED TO DIE NOW!!!!!!!!."
Stupid whore - "..........
Me - "And that's a double double.

I don't know how many times I have to bitch and complain about tim hortons people. But until I garner the respect and service I so duely deserve I will continue to rant and rave. Am I wrong to demand that people who's job entails customer service not be a complete fucking tool. C'mon, it's tim hortons. Your job is to make and sell coffee. It's totally un-acceptable not to have all the different kinds of coffee you sell ready to be sold. That's like someone going to a computer store, specifically asking for a laptop and the salesman saying, "Yeah, uh we're out of those right now. How about this big mother fucker over here. Granted it's not what you came for or, for that matter asked for, but your stupid and will buy what I tell you to."

Or is that not like that at all. What do I know. I think a women gettin railed by a horse is hilarious
blow me

[06 Jun 2006|10:15am]
went to the beach. got nice beach pictures. it was nice.
1 ooh yeaah's // blow me

[30 May 2006|11:43am]
moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
blow me

[26 May 2006|05:17pm]
meh
blow me

Marriage [26 May 2006|03:52pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

It's weird. she's getting married. It hurts because i know i'm happy with staci, and i wouldnt trade it for anything, i don't know why its so hurtful. but it is. i don't know.

blow me

[30 Apr 2006|11:03pm]
i think i think
blow me

[29 Apr 2006|01:45pm]
If you have over 40, that means you are spoiled. Do you have:

() your own cell phone
(x) a television in your bedroom
(x) an iPod
(x) a photo printer
( ) your own phone line
(x) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
( ) high-speed internet access (i.e., not dialup)
(x) a surround sound system
(x) DVD player in bedroom
(x) at least a hundred DVDs
(x) your own bathroom
(x) your own in-house office
( ) a pool
( ) a guest house
(x) a game room
(x) a queen-size bed or larger
(x) a stocked bar
(x) a working dishwasher
( ) an icemaker
(x) a working washer and dryer
(x) more than 20 pairs of shoes
(x) at least ten things from a designer store
( ) expensive sunglasses
( ) framed original art (not lithographs or prints)
( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
(x) a multi-speed bike
( ) a gym membership
( ) large exercise equipment at home
(x) your own set of golf clubs
(x) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
(x) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
( ) your own pair of skis
(x) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
(x) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
(x) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
(x) wealthy family members
( ) two or more family cars
(x) a walk-in closet or pantry
(x) a yard
( ) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
(x) good credit
(x) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
(x) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
(x) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
( ) a stock portfolio
(x) a passport
( ) a horse
(x) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
(x) private medical insurance
( ) a college degree, and no outstanding student loans

Do you:
(x) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
(x) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
(x) go on weekend mini-vacations
(x) send dinners back with every flaw
(x) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
(x) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
( ) have a job but don't need the money
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals
(x) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you taxis
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner

Are you:
( ) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
( ) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way

Have you:
(x) been on a cruise
(x) traveled out of the country
(x) met a celebrity
( ) been to the Caribbean
( ) been to Europe
( ) been to Hawaii
(x) been to New York
( ) eaten at the space needle in Seattle
( ) been to the Mall of America
( ) been on the Eiffel tower in Paris
( ) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
(x) moved more than three times because you wanted to
(x) dined with local political figures
( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(x) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
(x) attend private school
(x) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you
blow me

[29 Apr 2006|11:46am]
shittyballs. emma was up at about1 i think it was by them im not too sure i wasnt clock watching.
but she wouldnt let me leave. if i left she'd get all CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


on a side note im not doing a god damn thing today or tonight, that i know of anyways. i hope i have a date tonight with a beautiful lady, if shes not too busy

i just farted.

gross
blow me

[19 Apr 2006|03:02pm]
I love her so much that it makes my heartsmile a lot.
blow me

[16 Apr 2006|11:31pm]
When i come to the end of the road
and the sun has set for me
i hope you will realize, my pain at las is free,
miss me a little, but not too long
and not with your head bowed low,
remember the love that we once shared
miss m...but let me go
for this is a journey that we all must take
and each must go alone
its all a part of a master plan
a step on the road to home
when you are loneley and sick at heart
just go to some friends you know
try burying your sorrows in some good deeds
miss me...but let me go


if only i could
blow me

[16 Apr 2006|11:13pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

So.

I just don't know. As days go by it's supposed to be easier
But it seems as though when days go bye it gets harder
I know things get worse before they get better, but how much
more worse is it going to get before things start looking up?
yesterday was my grandmas birthday, so we all went to her house
and just sat around. i laid in her bedroom, i didnt feel like
being social with everyone. shes had the same comforter on her
bed for as long as i can remember, same night gown, same slippers
same everything. now the only thing that's different is, no one
will wear the slippers on their cold feet, or slip into the nighty,
or curl up under that old ass comforter. and it makes me cry, a lot
my grandparents were so close to me, like they raised me, since my mom
worked shift work and my dad was always away on business, they raised
me. i feel homesick in my own house, my heart broke a little bit..
and once again my family is no where to be found. they're off in carolina
doing their own thing, i know my mom is broken too, but like, come on,
why is it that everytime someone in my family passes away im stuck to deal
with it on my own, i just don't get it. i really and truly just dont
understand.
i feel like my grandparents broke up with me, like they ended it right
there. no one knows what this feels like, i keep getting sympathy cards
and i just want to put out a note in the paper and tell everyone to
"fuck off with the fake sympathy cards" IM trying so hard to deal with
this but it just becomes a part of you, when you see something you like
you're always tempted to "phone gramma and grandpa" and tell them. or
when you get something new, i want to run up to gramma and grandpas and
show them, but i surely cant anymore and i fucking hate it.

i hate it.

blow me

Yet again i get fucked in the ass [31 Mar 2006|02:12am]
[ mood | numb ]

thanks to my bestfriend my journal is still here.


so i'm at work just having a good day, 1 day until the weekend, relaxation, i'm working with one ladys account, and i notice this lady walk in, so i throw a smile at her and continue working with the lady at hand, so all is fine and dandy, and this lady walks into my isle and she takes her hat and glasses off and its my mom. i'm freaking out i'm so excited, i havent seen my mom in awhile, so i'm so excited "oh mom i missed you so much! whats up" well baby, you should go tell your boss you eed to take an emergency day, so she proceeds to tell me that my grandma passed away. you know it was bad when my grandpa died, because he was my grandpa, but now my grandma, this women is my favourite women ever, if i ever marry, i hope the girl is like my gram, immediately, not even a minute later my face filled with tears, it was like someone had turned on a valve and decided to let it run, all the way to my car, to my house and to my aunts i just cried. i felt sick, like oh my god, again?! like, jesus christ, GO AND FUCK YOURSELF PLEASE SIR. you need to just leave my family alone and pick on someone else. i think im going to go mental now. damon, poppa mook, gram. ack, ackack ack ack ack ack ack ack. 3 of my top 6 list. 50% of what i live for is gone. does that mean i get to give 50% less?? i think maybe

i'm going to roll another joint and smoke it. i'm having people in saturday night to get right fuckin' drunk, i know alcohol isnt the answer but its a temporary solution for now. and besides i've been really good lately. alcohol and shit.

mom and dad are taking over grams house, why? because mom grew up in that house and its the oldest house in the town, so theyre taking over the hous, its paid for and costs virtually nothing a month to maintain, plus i can stay in it when i come home on weekends and such and it has a pool, woot woot. ;'( such a big price to pay for a house, my grams life.

oddly enough all i want to do is drink, smoke pot and have stupid stupid meaningless sex..
sex heals all pain.

my heart hurts a lot...i feel like i just broke up with life, its an odd way of putting things but i know what i mean. . oh fuck me. im going to smoke this now.

blow me

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